I may be accused of going for the low hanging fruit here but I’ve been planning this one since I started this thing. He was very nearly the inaugural Columbo Villian of the Week. Yep that’s right it’s the Squire of Sarcasm, The Earl of Eyebrow: Angus Deayton.
Angus was the undisputed king of the sarcastic put down and political satire in the nineties; as host of “Have I got News For You” no one was safe. A cottage industry in comedy cameos in the likes of “One Foot In the Grave” cemented the former Oxford graduate as a household name.
Then, with no small sense of irony, Angus became the news when his cocaine fuelled romps with a high-class call girl (that’s a hooker to you and me) made it onto the front page of the rabid tabloid press. Angus endured a tirade of merciless ribbing from fellow “Have I got News” regulars Ian Hislop and Paul Merton on the show after the story broke but came through the other side. Indeed many thought he was home free.
The tabloids had other ideas. They released details of an alleged long-term affair and the BBC hauled him in to let him know that wasn’t quite the news they wanted to have for their viewers. Angus was done.
Except he wasn’t. Not by a long shot. Keeping his head down and focussing on his steady if unremarkable career in comedy drama he managed to grab a part in the BBC’s cult hit “Nighty Night”. He’s remained on our tellies in one way or another for years, Angus lies down for no man.
Alas the same can’t be said as regards women.
I’ve always felt there was something unsavoury, if somewhat inevitable about the way Paul Merton and Ian Hislop went after Angus following the scandal. Merton in particular was uncharacteristically ruthless. Behind the fixed grin I could easily see Deayton plotting his revenge.
I can see it now…
Troubled by falling ratings, the BBC approach Deayton about a return to the show that made him, apologies are demanded, boons are granted. Deayton is on his way back to the A list. There’s just one problem, well two actually.
Paul and Ian.
The two panellists are unhappy at the return of the Sarcastic One, even more so at his portrait as the “Saviour of Satire”. Merton, backed by Hislop, has an ace up his sleeve, pictures of Angus with a well-known female former Tory MP and they aren’t just talking if you know what I mean (allegedly).
The knives are out and Angus has very little time to act to save his newly restored position – it’s clear it’s him or them. The decision is not hard.
It looks like a freak accident. A grand piano being delivered to the BBC falls from its crane crushing Hislop and Merton as they exit the studios on route to fax the photos to The Sun. No one notices that the man stealing the photographs who looks like this:
And resembles Deayton.
No one that is save the pint sized American homicide detective who is visiting television centre that same day for a documentary on forensics. He’s seen Deayton on BBC worldwide, he’s a big fan and he likes his acting to, especially Nighty Night.
Deayton’s in trouble, big trouble.
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