There and Back Again

18 05 2008

Well, I’m back in the UK again, sat upon my bright red couch and trying to stay awake until the sun goes down. It occurred to me - after I’d done it - that working out I’d been up since 11pm Friday UK time wasn’t the best way to go about that.

We had a fantastic time in New Zealand. It was really cool meeting up with M and C after such a long time; their place overlooking Evan’s Bay has views that I honestly don’t think one could ever get tired of. Christchurch was a huge amount of fun and of course our trip to Kaikoura was a particular highlight.

Hell, I even managed to write a fair bit. And while I’m on the subject I’m pleased to report that I’ve finished another two chapters of the third draft of The Woodsman as well as starting a new short story. Most importantly I began to have ideas again, they - ideas - generally dry up when I’m burned out as I was before I left the UK and only return once my shoulders drop down from around my ears.

Now I have until Tuesday morning to get over my jet lag before I rejoin the real world once more. I think sleep is going to feature rather large on my agenda as well as my quarterly shear in aid of looking vaguely like I’m gainfully employed.

I’m going now as I’ve started talking about haircuts - a sure sign I’m waaay too tired.





Hello Sailor

13 05 2008

We’re still in Christchurch, although our time here is now drawing to a close, just one more day and then it’s back to Wellington. Friday was spent exploring the city centre; we took in the square and some of the shops before venturing into the aquarium where we saw – amongst other things – some live kiwis.

Kiwis are very strange: a tubby body, sitting atop bird feet and gifted with a small rodent like head on which is a long narrow beak that almost resembles a straw. This was the only wildlife we weren’t allowed to photograph, due largely to their nervous disposition. These flightless birds are under threat in New Zealand because of the introduction of non-indigenous wildlife such as ferrets, stoats, cats and dogs. As we saw more of the islands wildlife this was a message we heard a lot. It’s easy to see why the islanders are so protective of their fragile ecosystem when much of it has been lost or threatened already.

Saturday we were up before dawn. An in room breakfast feast was a great way to start what would turnout to be a special day indeed. A weather worn kiwi – the human kind – picked us up to take us on a two and a half hour drive to Kaikoura.

What the hell am I talking about? Why is Kaikoura interesting? What’s so bloody special about Saturday?

I’ll tell you: Kiakoura is whale country.

The journey took us out through the Christchurch suburbs into the Canterbury plains. Plains that are a vast expanse of flat agricultural land ringed by the mountains on one side and the pacific on the other. As we made our way the sun painted the landscape in sheets of gold and orange as it climbed into the azure sky. The plains are where much of New Zealand’s wine comes from, vineyards dotting the landscape between the sheep and cattle farms.

Colour is a big feature of New Zealand from lush evergreen through yellow and the first shades of amber in the promise of the coming autumn to the snow capped mountains. Drive through the plains and you’ll see all of it.

We emerged from the hills to follow the sea around the coast drawing nearer to Kaikoura and our first stop. Nestled on the side of the road with the Pacific breaking on the shingle beach in front of us lay a treat. Fur seals were once hunted nearly to the point of extinction in New Zealand, now they’re protected and the numbers have recovered to the point where stopping by the side of the road you can peer down on them. And we did.

A fur seal colony near Kaikoura, South Island, New Zealand*

The colony lay sprawled out in the sun, enjoying a leisurely morning on the beach that we were keen not to disturb. They’re funny creatures, somewhat ungainly on land, clearly intelligent and eerily reminiscent of humans in some mannerisms, particularly when stretched out sleeping. They sleep in the oddest of positions, including upside down and curled up into balls of fur.

Once in the water they’re different animals altogether: sleek, fast, clever hunters that blend into the sea in no time at all. Reluctantly we travelled on, leaving the seals to their nap.

By the time we got to Kaikoura the sun was out in force and the Southern Alps were wreathed in an ethereal mist that left you in no doubt as to why Peter Jackson chose to shoot The Lord Of The Rings in New Zealand.

We were warned before we boarded the boat that there was a high chance of sea sickness due to the weather, in fact it was touch and go if we would make the trip at all as the first boat that day had been cancelled. I felt pretty confident that I would be fine as I have pretty good sea legs but G is often unwell in boats and so I purchased ginger capsules for us both. Though I drew the line at motion sickness bands, they offended my pride.

You know the one that goes before the fall.

We boarded the purpose built, double-hulled, engine powered boat at a small jetty just outside of Kaikoura. It was much faster than I thought it would be, skipping along at a fair old whack that had me grinning with glee as G gripped my hand and closed her eyes. Neptune, it seems, has a sense of humour.

Finding whales - we were in search of sperm whale - is not so much of a science as an art and there are no guarantees that you’ll see any. After all the whale doesn’t get a cut of your admission fee, he – you only get males of New Zealand because of the temperature – doesn’t give a toss that you’re only there for a few weeks. We were aided by the start of migration season and a boat that had already sighted some of the resident whales.

South Island sits on the edge of a great undersea canyon where warm currents mix with colder currents to produce a nutrient rich environment that makes for good feeding for a whole host of wildlife. We made a couple of stops where our skipper put a hydrophone in the water to ascertain how many – if any – whales were present and where.

Two failed attempts later a circling Cesna briefly raised our hopes that we would soon be seeing a sperm whale but when the voice came over the radio it was orca (killer whales) not our quarry that had been sighted.

Determined, we set off again for where another boat had sighted a whale earlier that morning. Sperm whale dive, on average, for around forty-five minutes as they hunt for their prey – including the giant squid with which they regularly do battle. However they have been recorded diving for up to two and a half hours; we crossed everything that this was not going to be one of those times.

Our first whale - a resident whale - surfaced of our port bow sending all of us scrabbling for a viewing position with G and myself on the upper deck looking down at our first sperm whale. A slick charcoal grey ridge sticking a few inches out of the water marking the edge of his forehead down to a knobbly ridge flagging the back of his skull, spray shooting periodically into the air as he built up his oxygen reserves for another dive. We took in the size of this enormous creature as it floated near the side of the boat before he brought his huge bird shaped tail out of the water as it went under in search of dinner.

Head of a sperm whale peaking above the sea

Our next encounter was with another resident whale. In this case an animal that Whale Watch has been tracking since the projects inception twenty odd years ago and that had been seen around twenty minutes before we saw our first whale. He surfaced a little while ahead of our arrival but we had a chance to take in this even larger whale before the behemoth waved his tail at us and slipped away.

Sperm whale tail waves goodbye off the shores of Kaikoura

Well, by this time I was happier than a pig in shit. I’ve always wanted to see whales in the wild and I’d done it but not only that I’d managed to see one of the rarer species. I felt elated, I felt strange, I felt an odd sense of dizziness as I sloped back to my seat but I pushed it to one side looking forward to our next task: orca.

We made our way over to where the pod of orca had been sighted and within a few moments one had breached right in front of our boat. A fact our commentator noted had not happened to her in seven years of working at Whale Watch, our good day was about to get magical.

Known as the wolves of the sea, orca or killer whales are actually more closely related to dolphins than whales with their name coming from their ability – in groups – to kill whales. They’re the top predator of the ocean eating pretty much anything that strikes their fancy although you’ll be relieved to hear humans do not feature on that list. They are intelligent and fortunately for us inquisitive.

We came across two males and a female. One of the males broke off pretty early, bored of boats no doubt, but the remaining male along with his lady friend came in for a closer look. They circled us giving us plenty of opportunity to see their heads and impressive dorsal fins before heading next to as well as under the boat. Up on the upper deck looking down I managed to see the whole of the male orca from snout to tail: nearly the entire length of the boat. Breathtaking, humbling, beautiful, rolled on his side to afford him a view of the people staring down at him and utterly wonderful.

Male Orca off the coast of Kaikoura, South Island, New Zealand

Now, I’ve seen orca before when I was much younger visiting Seaworld with my parents. Sat as part of the audience cooing and shrieking as the whales breached and pranced for the paying public through what has to be said is an entertaining show. I’m not saying this to be politically correct or some environmental hippy but it is nothing like seeing these animals in the wild. In the wild these creatures move differently, look different – healthy and alert – and have a grace that you simply don’t see in captivity.

We began our journey back to shore. Three’s the charm though and before we’d got very far a whale surfaced right in front of us! We stopped off to take in this last sperm whale, a large chap who was so uninterested in the boat that he rolled over and went to sleep depriving us of a tail wave but showing us a new trick. Strangely he seemed to take my stomach with him when he went under.

What was this curious feeling in my belly?

As we skipped along the curious feeling of dizziness began to recede as I cast my gaze out at the open sea. I could see albatross riding the air above the ocean and the odd boat bobbing on the swell, something silver darted through the air. At first I thought it was my imagination or worse the ghosting that precedes the migraines I occasionally get. Then it happened again and I realised they were dolphins. The boat slowed as we were given the opportunity to run outside and take pictures.

A strange thing happened as the boat slowed. My stomach, last seen riding a sperm whale down a pacific canyon returned as if let go on a giant rubber band that shot it up from the depths into my belly and out through my mouth. Yes ladies and gents: I, the proud owner of what were thought to be two unshakable sea legs, was seasick.

Sore, tired, smelling faintly of sick and, clutching a rather warm paper bag of contents you would not wish to gaze on, I returned to shore. I didn’t care: it was completely and utterly worth it.

I’d even do it again.

* All photos are courtesy of G.





Golden Hokey Pokey

8 05 2008

We’re in Christchurch now having spent yesterday travelling down from Wellington.

I don’t really associate New Zealand or Australia with having different words for stuff although I’m not sure why as clearly in America they’ve got a whole raft of different vocabulary from Jello to sidewalk. Anyway, it caught me by surprise to find out that honeycomb is called golden hokey pokey here and perhaps that explains why we found it so funny we drew stares from the locals.

The day after our adventures in the hills above Wellington we spent at a slower pace. A leisurely lunch with M and C led into an afternoon exploring the Te Papa museum and learning more about the history of the country from the pacific islanders who originally settled the islands to the gold rush of the 1800s.

Our journey down to Christchurch was every bit as scenic as I’d hoped. We began with a ferry journey across from Wellington that allowed us to see some of the coast from the sea. Truly spectacular cliffs lined the route as we navigated down what looked like some tricky channels into the small town of Picton.

It was a very small train that would then take us the rest of the way down to Christchurch on the east coast of South Island. This turned out to be a bonus as due to the low number of people travelling we wound up with four seats to ourselves and the opportunity to sprawl.

We began in vineyard country before heading into the hills and down to the coast. I still can’t quite believe how blue the pacific is around New Zealand but I had plenty of opportunity to gaze on it as the train hugged the coastline for a hundred kilometres. As we passed through Kaikoura we managed to catch glimpse of some seals enjoying the afternoon sun and behind us the southern alps’ snowy peaks kept us in shade for a while as the train meandered on.

We pulled away from the coast as dusk began to fall, travelling through more rural landscape. The grass here was a shade of green I usually associate with CGI and a series of tightly formed, geometrically diverse hills left me with a vague sense of a beautiful if alien landscape. We rolled into Christchurch in the dark, looked over by a low-slung crescent moon and feeling like we’d seen something special.

And it was good.





Wellington Wanderers

6 05 2008

Tuesday was our first full day in New Zealand.

Monday, we arrived at M and C’s a little after ten. We spent the rest of the day trying to stay awake by exploring the village of Hataitai near M and C’s house in Wellington. The village is quite small and has a nice collection of shops, cafes and restaurants. A chocolate shop full of handcrafted, sugared, delights kept G happy. The evening was spent chilling with C and M – a good end to a long day.

On Tuesday we found we’d acclimatised quite quickly to the time zone and so decided to head into the centre of Wellington. We caught a bus that was both on time, clean and allowed us to sit down. Already I could tell Wellington was going to be a clear improvement on old London town.

The bus journey passed through a series of suburbs lined by wooden houses, painted in a range of pastels and reminded me in places of Georgetown, Washington only cleaner. Indeed there is a strong mix of British, American and European architecture all over the city with downtown Wellington resembling parts of America now lost in time – or that perhaps never really existed save in old television shows.

The weather had been initially cloudy, a continuation of weather we encountered on landing in Wellington, but by the time we got into town it was really quite sunny. Warm enough in the sun that I removed my jacket as we walked up past the Beehive (part of the New Zealand parliamentary buildings) to where we had arranged to meet C for lunch.

Lunch was a joy. We went to a medium sized café called The Ministry of Food where we tucked into some really great focaccia with grilled field mushrooms and goat’s feta; it was fabulous. To be honest I’ve been really surprised at the quality of the food. Everywhere we’ve been so far – admittedly not that much - they’ve cooked the food fresh on the premises. It’s been a lovely surprise.

After lunch, we decided to explore the botanical gardens. The walk up takes you past the beehive through Bolton Memorial Cemetery where many of the Victorian settlers are buried. A motorway was run through it in the sixties splitting the site in two; they’re now part of a walk that leads from town up to the botanical gardens and linked via a bridge over the road. It was surprising, once we were over the footbridge, how quickly the sound of the motorway gave way to the serenity of the cemetery and birdsong from the thriving wildlife.

On emerging from the cemetery we entered a rose garden and despite it being nearly autumn we managed to see some fantastic flowers as well as some boisterous ducks. It was very clear a great deal of love and effort had gone into those gardens. I must confess it was an incredibly relaxing space that I just sat in whilst G took many, many photographs. I wasn’t surprised to hear water because there was a fountain but I was surprised to see a small waterfall surrounded by some type of memorial.

This was the Peace Flame celebrating New Zealand’s strong commitment to conflict resolution, specifically touching on New Zealand’s anti-nuclear stance. New Zealand has strong links to Japan in part because of its stance on Nuclear weapons; New Zealand is a nuclear free country and has been for some time. The flame is a Hiroshima and Nagasaki Peace flame that sits in a lantern in the centre of the water feature. Also present is an actual stone taken from the ruins of Hiroshima. The monument was an unexpected find in amongst the gardens and I spent some time reflecting on it. I’m still not sure how I feel.

I’ll post some photos when I get a chance.

At the top of botanical gardens the fantastic range of trees give way to breathtaking views down over the city and harbour. Having exhausted ourselves scrambling around for good shots and the light deciding to fail we caught the cable car back down to the city. This wasn’t dissimilar to the Victoria cable car in Hong Kong.

From there it was back to the house for another evening with friends.





The Far Side of the World

4 05 2008

I am now in Wellington having been traveling for around thirty-five hours. That means this post may make even less sense than normal and without even considering that I’m doing it on my mobile.

Anyway, I’m rambling. I do that.

The flight out was good but long and there was mildly concerning mishap in Aukland. Our flight from LAX was late and we wound up with half anhour to run from one end of the airport to the other. After 24hrs of flying I fear and that run I fear I was nasally uncomfortable company for that hour jaunt into Wellington.

But I’m here, and G is in the shower so I thought a quick, furtive post was in order.

First impressions of New Zealand: beautiful, relaxed and lots of views. For example, as I tap this out I am gazing out at the bay, behind that are mountains.

As previously mentioned we’re staying with friends C and M. C is my oldest friend - we’ve known each other for over twenty-five years - and as we haven’t seen each other for eighteen months I’m very excited to finally be here.

Anyway, bye for now.





Winged Ape

3 05 2008

I’m tapping this out in the departure lounge at Heathrow, our jumbo just the other side of the glass. Looking forward to a long break in New Zealand.

I’ll be gone for a few weeks and, although I will be posting periodically, it may take a little longer than normal for me to respond to stuff. For now I’m just hoping the screeching children don’t do that in the aircraft.

Ta ta for now.

PS - Boris? I mean why?!





Holiday Reading

30 04 2008

Only three days to go!

I’m seriously ready for my break now and it’ll be great to see C and M. I haven’t seen them in around eighteen months but more on that later in the week. This post is about other things. For today I must compile that all important, critical, make or break item: the holiday reading list.

This crucial document is more than just a shopping list, like a good compilation record get it wrong and it can ruin the whole break. On the one hand - because it’s an English speaking country - the risk is lower as I can always buy more and on the other it’s higher - twenty-nine hour flights do not as yet offer an in flight library.

So here’s my draft list:

King Rat by China Mieville
Singularity Sky by Charlie Stross
The Yiddish Policeman’s Union by Michael Chabon
The Man Who was Thursday by G. K. Chesterton
The Unbearable Lightness of Being in Aberystwyth by Malcom Pryce
Fresh Fields by Peter Kocan
Brasyl by Ian McDonald (Yes, I haven’t read it…stop sniggering at the back)
The Ghosts Brigade by John Scalzi
The Complete Short Stories by Franz Kafka

That’s it for now. Of course, I’m a terrible impulse buyer when it comes to books and so I may wind up with a larger haul.

What do you plan on reading on your holidays this year?





Commuter Capers

28 04 2008

Top five comedy commuter capers, go on - I dare you:

5. Next time a free paper is slapped into your chest arm bar the free paper pusher to the ground and tweak him a la Mister Miyagi. Helps your defence later if you yell assault as the paper hits you.

4. Dramatically swoon to the floor, drawing maximum attention the next time someone walks into you or cuts you up.

3. Next time someone with hygiene issues sits next to you remove a can of deodrant and spray the air around you. Use of phrase “For the flies” optional.

2. As everyone rushes to the train to board dance down the platform performing the corect steve tyler moves to classic cheese rock Walk This Way.

1. Next time some one invades your personal space cough loudly, explosively and spraying as much vapour at them as you can without actually spitting on them. Then talk loudly to your companion or mobile phone about how your TB is really a lot better and you hardly bring up any blood these days. Hand wipe to space invadee’s garment is optional.





Weymouth

21 04 2008

Well, been a bit quiet around here hasn’t it?

Sorry about that. As mentioned last week I’ve spent the weekend in Weymouth working on The Woodsman. G was there for a photography course in preparation for a wedding she’s shooting later in the year and I tagged along in the hope that being sans internet, sans London, would enable progress.

I’m pleased to report it did and progress has now increased back up to it’s former pace. Last time I left them Anya and Akyar had just been dropped - quite literally - in it. And you have no idea what I’m talking about and so lets move on…

The trip also enabled me to start building up content for the website when I’m away in New Zealand and so there will be something here even if I don’t have internet in the hotel. I am of course hoping for internet as part of the fun of having a blog is posting about one’s travels:

Weymouth itself was nice. Pretty much your standard English seaside town. It has a fantastic beach that runs right round the bay and a front that is lined with Georgian guest houses giving the town a pleasing sense of history. There are a couple of interesting memorials including one to Anzac troops who fought at Gallipoli and convalesced at Weymouth.

The weather was pretty awful on Saturday but I still ventured out as I’m quite partial to walking along the coast. I was glad I did so as it gave me a chance to see some of the most incredible sport - parasurfing - and some of the coolest stunts I’ve witnessed in ages. Parasurfing is basically where you attach a parasail or kite to a surf board and use the wind to surf along, it’s faster and more agile than wind surfing allowing awesome jumps. That’s one I wouldn’t mind giving a go. In warmer weather.

On Sunday the weather was much improved and I found myself enjoying the local chips on the beach in the sun and then it was back to the smoke for work - where I am now.

I also did a fair bit of reading and so you can expect some reviews to parachute in here over the next few days. For now I’m going to imbibe my own body weight in coffee.





Amsterdam: Reflections

23 02 2008

1. It is impossible to find your way round without a map and, if you do get lost, the women in the windows aren’t interested in giving you directions.

2. You need to look up in Amsterdam, if you keep looking at ground level you’re missing the architecture. Also you’re probably a perv.

3. Good news: the car drivers aren’t trying to kill you.

4. Bad news: cyclists and tram drivers are trying to kill you.

5. Even in Amsterdam the bar staff are Australian.

6. In mainland Europe all hotels must feature neon lighting in the bar. It’s the law.

7. You know how in the UK nowhere accepts Solo or Maestro, in Holland it’s the other way round.

8. Blacklights mean sleaze in any country and no one believes that look of innocent surprise so stop pretending.

9. It’s quite hard to be more inefficient than Heathrow but Schiphol likes a challenge.

10. Beer brewed by monks should be consumed with care. Alcohol and religious zeal do not mix well as anyone who’s been to a Swansea Vs. Cardiff game can attest.