Friday Flash Fiction

28 09 2007

This post has moved. You can read the story here: http://www.neilbeynon.com/fiction/when-i-was-bad/

I wanted to do something with voice this week after reading some ace pieces by fellow Friday Flash Fictioneers Shaun C Green and Paul Raven at the same time as reading some very cool stuff by Ramsey Campbell, Ray Bradbury, Neil Gaiman and Susanna Clarke. As with all these things the results are not quite what I would have liked but I hope enough to entertain for a short while and perhaps raise a wry smile in places.

When I was bad
By Neil Beynon

On Saturday I went to the end of the garden because my mum was baking and she said that I was in the way and she didn’t want to listen to any of my nonsense and I should go play on my own or go and bother the fairies cuss I was away with them half the time anyway. I wanted to go call for Jess but I wasn’t allowed to as I’m not allowed to go further than the end of the road and mum was baking and Dad was on deadline, Dad is grumpy when he is on deadline and you have to go really quietly like this.

The sun was very high in the sky when I went into the garden and I didn’t have a hat on but I didn’t burn because my mum says I have olive skin but olives are green and my skin is goldeny brown. I forgot my shoes but I like the grass tickling my feet and making mud prints on the kitchen floor and this one time my Dad took me to the beach and he showed me the mud prints of people who’d lived like a gazillion years ago. It was cool.

This post has moved. You can read the story here: http://www.neilbeynon.com/fiction/when-i-was-bad/


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8 responses

28 09 2007
Abbi

I’m not sure about this one to be honest. I can see where you were going but I’m not sure the child’s voice is quite right. I did like the part about dad being fat and ginger though! Lol!

28 09 2007
Gareth D Jones

I thought he sounded quite like Forrest Gump. It made for an interesting flow.

28 09 2007
Paul Raven

Good effort, squire. I thought the voice was spot on.

30 09 2007
Neil

Cheers for the feedback Abbi, Gareth and Paul. ‘Tis appreciated.

6 10 2007
Suzanne

I really liked this one

6 10 2007
Neil

Thanks Sis. Hope Uni is going well. I’ll give you a ring tomorrow 🙂

23 11 2007
Friday Flash Fiction: Kind of… « The other side of the river

[…] breath. Like I have the bends or something.” “When we were being bad, messing round…” “When I was bad,” she corrected. “You were single.” “Whatever,” he replied. “It wasn’t like he was […]

19 02 2011
Friday Flash Fiction: Elevator 2 – Tin Clouds «Flotsam:

[…] “When I was bad?” asked the Tinman. “I’ve never been bad.” […]

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