Friday Flash Fiction: Eyes

11 01 2008

This post has moved. You can see the full post here: http://www.neilbeynon.com/fiction/eyes/

Eyes
By Neil Beynon

She broke my heart.

No not like that. I’m not completely naive, it’s just you pay for a service and you expect it to be done properly, to standard. You pay the kind of money I did, you expect gold standard.

Not this squalid indignity. My recovery beacon’s been going for hours now. It’s only a matter of time and they’ll be banging down the door. Sure it’ll be embarrassing. The leopard skin was obviously a mistake as were the chains, not that I could move now if I wanted to.

All I really wanted was the experience. Not much to ask really? And well, it’s illegal isn’t it – to not tell them and once you have well it’s adios amigo, get yourself gone Ron, etc, etc. So I saved. And I saved. And ok I made a small robbery – low risk, they just give you an inhibitor for a while – no terminations.

This post has moved. You can see the full post here: http://www.neilbeynon.com/fiction/eyes/


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7 responses

11 01 2008
ShaunCG

Interesting piece, nicely written – though I’m not sure if I get the significance of the eyes.

11 01 2008
GLP

Nicely paced, I thought. Not too much exposition. And a beliveable narrative voice. Good stuff.

11 01 2008
Greg O'Byrne

I kept having a feeling like it was a cross between “MInority Report” and “AI”.

Question for you Niel: How do I get officially signed up into the Friday Flash Fiction group.

11 01 2008
Neil

Thanks guys.

Greg – There’s no official sign up. You just post a piece of flash fiction on a Friday on your blog. Most of us tend to post the words Friday Flash Fiction or FFF preceeding the title but, as far as I know, it’s not a rule. Have fun.

If you wanted to check out other participants, and they’re very talented so it’s worth it, the links follow:
Shaun C. Green
Gareth D. Jones
Martin McGrath
Dan Pawley
Justin Pickard
Gareth Lyn Powell (Originator)
Paul Raven

13 01 2008
» F3: Human Interest Story >>Nostalgia For Infinity: Literature, Gaming, Punk Rock (and all that)

[…] the day and leaving me exhausted in the evening. Semper idem. Remember to check out the other flash fictionists, all of whom managed to meet the deadline… I’ll be over here, hanging my head in […]

15 01 2008
Dan

Nicely written, this, with a very strong sensual quality

19 02 2011
Friday Flash Fiction: Elevator 2 – Tin Clouds «Flotsam:

[…] Tinman lay on the grass at the edge of the world gazing up at the sky with his silver eyes, shards of grass sticking to his still drying surface, Sarah sleeping beside […]

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