Friday Flash Fiction: After The Rain

8 02 2008

This post has moved. You can read it here: http://www.neilbeynon.com/fiction/after-the-rain/

After The Rain
By Neil Beynon

The girl pulls her raincoat tight round her as she walks up the path through the slate grey hills to the lake. It’s raining faintly; dirt flecked, wind blown vapour that creeps insidiously up her sleeves and down her collar. It plasters her elfin hair to the sides of her face in mad wet swirls of colour but she doesn’t mind. She likes the rain – you have to in this part of the world or you’d go mad.

As the lake comes into view, faint ripples moving in steady rhythm across the water, her eyes fall on the small battered hut. Four sides of wood held together by a corrugated steel roof and heated by something requiring a chimney that looks like it will soon make the journey to the ground once more. No smoke shows from this fragile structure, no sign of life.

This post has moved. You can read it here: http://www.neilbeynon.com/fiction/after-the-rain/


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9 responses

8 02 2008
ShaunCG

A poignant piece. Part of me wonders what she was called for, what these people do, but the rest of me reminds that part that it’s not relevant, that this story isn’t about that. I enjoyed this, thanks for posting!

8 02 2008
Gareth D Jones

Some fine little pieces of description dotted through this piece. Full of depth and colour.

8 02 2008
dan

I really like this one, especially the very strong sense of place – I mentally placed the story in Wales (but that might just be because I recently reread The Grey King)

8 02 2008
Greg O'Byrne

Neil, have you read Lucius Shephard’s “Louisana Breakdown”? Well it isn’t like this story 🙂 but has some similiarities about a pre-destined woman in it. Although her outcome is tragic…anyways its worth a read.

Shephard is great. His book “Life during wartime”, written in 1990 or something is erily applicable to today’s current events.

g

8 02 2008
Guy Hogan

A very poetic piece of flash fiction. The constant concrete sense details that run through the story allow the reader to “live” in the story. Few writers understand this; but you do.

8 02 2008
GLP

I especially love that last line.

13 06 2008
It had to happen sooner or later… « The other side of the river

[…] After The Rain Faraway Territory […]

12 10 2008
Jules

Your writing evokes such clear imagery; I feel as if I stood there in the rain and watched this unfold… a very enjoyable piece.

12 10 2008
Neil

Thanks Jules – glad you liked it.

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